I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
