I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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