i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
