I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
