Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
