you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
