How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
