I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
