is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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