Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
