so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Randomize
