; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
