hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
