Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
