I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
