I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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