We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
