Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
