everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
