ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
