went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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