Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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