that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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