You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
there is puke in my bra ... again
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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