the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
