For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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