I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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