Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
