Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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