everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Fuck me I smell like cheese
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
