The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
