2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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