How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
