I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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