Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
