new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He's on the porch naked. Help.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
