I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
