i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
