Are we in a gay sports bar?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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