is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
