After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
