dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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