Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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