absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
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