People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
