he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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