So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
