They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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