it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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