I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
