PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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