it wasn't lemon gatorade
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
