just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
