Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The beer is more important than you right now.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
