On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
