she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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