hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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